Sunday, May 3, 2009

Sickness

So i'm starting to feel better, although i'm pretty certain that i've got an ulcer, which explains the nausea and stomach pains. i've been under a lot of stress lately, but after listening to Master's advice, i'm feeling better. This isn't the first time i've had an ulcer brought on by stress, but it's been quite a number of years, so i wasn't even thinking of that as a possibility. i'll talk to my doctor about it on Tuesday when i go in for my annual check-up just to be absolutely sure. i don't like self-diagnosing.

i really dislike how ill i can become and there's always the possibility of worse ailments in the future because of my genetics. i know i can't control them, but still. My mother survived three different kinds of cancer, which is great, but also means i'm at a higher risk. And that worries me. Just knowing how concerned Master has been for my health makes me so sad. Not that i am sad that he's worried about me, just that i don't like to see him that concerned. Of course, it just means that he cares. But there's still something inside of me that dislikes when others worry over me. That's supposed to be my job.

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