Feeling good, really. Quite a bit exhausted still. Spent nearly the whole day just appreciating my family. Drew a bit with the imp. And i've come to the conclusion that, in times of trouble, i'm drawn to images of trees. i noticed that both in the hospital and today, trees played a prominent role in the pictures i sketched out. i even wrote a terrible haiku about trees.
And really, i'm not even sure why trees. i'm more of a fire-type than anything. But, to me, trees represent hope. They lose their leaves each year, only to grow back again. So even though i might have been down to my last in those moments before my mother called for the police and ambulance, there's still hope i will grow again.
It's strange, though. In some ways, leading up to last Friday, i was becoming more and more like myself, yet pulling further and further away as well. So now i feel i'm more whole than ever, though i have a lot of fear leading up to next month. Until i can get this problem under control, what will i end up doing to myself? i don't even want to think about it. Instead, i'll just concentrate on my moods and making sure that, when the shit hits the fan, i'll be able to handle it instead.
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