Meditation Monday

Today, i have served Master by pushing through and finishing my tasks, despite feeling depressed. Motivation is not an easy thing to come by when i don't feel 100% up to everything, but Master's approval is always something i can get the energy up to strive for.

Tomorrow, i can further serve Master by keeping an eye on my emotions and checking for signs of further depression. Then, i can talk to Master about it, instead of holding it all in and just hoping that it goes away. It doesn't do Master or myself any good to keep the depression held in and it can only serve to cause a rift between us.

One thing that can help with my servitude is reminding myself that, by serving Master, i am, in a sense, serving myself. This is the life i chose and i am happy with it. By complaining internally about things that i "don't feel like" doing, it doesn't get the task done, nor does anything i truly want get accomplished. In the end, by following through with the tasks Master sets for me, i end up happier and feel more fulfilled than if i go "off course."

my goal in serving Master is to ensure that we work as a team, within the constraints of our dynamic. Though he is Master and i am pet, we are of equal worth. My service to him is not only beneficial to him, but to myself, just as his guiding hand is beneficial to me as well as Master.

Through my service, i hope to learn how better to cherish myself. This is something that i don't do hardly ever, if at all. Master deserves a pet that is full of confidence and love for herself. After all, Master would not have chosen me as his pet if i was of no value to him. And if he sees value in me, then something must be there to be cherished.

A moment in my life that lead to my servitude was when i was still married to my ex-husband. All i wanted was for a pair of hands and words to guide me, though i didn't know to what extent. When he refused, i felt lost and afraid. It wasn't until after i found my way to Master and had someone to guide me that i realized that this is what i had been missing in my life all this time.