Only 10 days until Master arrives. i feel really shitty because i kind of snapped at him earlier when he was trying to be comforting. It's just that when i'm in a bad mood, the last thing i need is to have someone try and love me. Even after all this time, i'm not used to affection, not really. i suppose i'm getting there, but i'm not really there yet.

i don't know what i can do to make myself realize that it's ok to be loved. It's just kind of a hangup that i have. Hopefully it's something that i can work through.