i've promised Master i would try again to be myself, wholly and fully. But i'm not sure how to go about doing that. For most of my life, i've had to hide that part of myself. If i even displayed a little bit of it, i was punished greatly for it.
So i've had a long, rocky history with myself. Mostly, i find i become what others want of me. Perhaps this is due to my naturally submissive nature, or perhaps it's something different, but i'm not sure. i just don't know how to reach inside and be myself because i'm scared others aren't going to embrace her, like what happened in the past.
Perhaps i can bring this up in group tomorrow.