Once again, i feel as if i'm slipping away from my servitude. Master says that, by serving myself, i am serving him, but it feels a cheap way out for me. i don't know how else to explain it but that. i wish to be able to fully devote myself to Master and his desires. i've tried explaining to him that his desires are my desires and that, by serving him, i am serving myself. But all it does is lead us in a roundabout discussion.
i think it would be easier if we sat down together and wrote out a list of rules for me to follow. i really feel that that is what's keeping me from fully jumping into this lifestyle. Hopefully, we'll get a chance sometime in the near future to fix this and really be able to come up with something the two of us can agree with.