Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Another life

i had a thought that i would love to run away from the life i have and just start all over. The problem is, i've already done this in the past and i know how disastrous that can work out. i lived a life for over five years that was partial fiction: a masquerade of the person i thought i wanted to be. To this day, i don't think my ex-husband truly as any idea of who i really am, simply because i lied to him our entire relationship.

i was determined not to do that in my relationship with Master. i saw how that turned out. i couldn't handle being that other me anymore than i could handle being the real me. But, again, i find myself wishing i could be the person i see deep inside myself. And i'm quite tempted to just shed my skin and become her. Maybe this time will be different? Or maybe it won't.


Nezumi said...

I've been in a similar situation, though only barely. It is really hard. I wish you the best, and I wish I could help, but I'm only an internet person.

Lilikka said...

Thanks. Even just a short message like this is nice.