Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Another life

i had a thought that i would love to run away from the life i have and just start all over. The problem is, i've already done this in the past and i know how disastrous that can work out. i lived a life for over five years that was partial fiction: a masquerade of the person i thought i wanted to be. To this day, i don't think my ex-husband truly as any idea of who i really am, simply because i lied to him our entire relationship.

i was determined not to do that in my relationship with Master. i saw how that turned out. i couldn't handle being that other me anymore than i could handle being the real me. But, again, i find myself wishing i could be the person i see deep inside myself. And i'm quite tempted to just shed my skin and become her. Maybe this time will be different? Or maybe it won't.

2 comments:

Nezumi said...

I've been in a similar situation, though only barely. It is really hard. I wish you the best, and I wish I could help, but I'm only an internet person.

Lilikka said...

Thanks. Even just a short message like this is nice.