Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Meditation Monday Tuesday

So i forgot yesterday was Monday, so my meditation had to wait until today. i hope that this doesn't disrupt things too much.

Today, i have served Master by
remembering tasks that i forgot to complete, in addition to working on my daily assigned tasks. And, even though Master is not upset by my forgetting about my special Monday posts, he still expects one to be done, which is why i'm doing it now. My blog posts offer insight into my mind that Master enjoys.

Tomorrow, i can further serve Master by continuing to prepare for his trip here. The house is mostly clean, with just our room the final area that truly needs a lot of work. It shouldn't take too much more than a few hours, but it's something that still needs to be done. i have nearly a week to complete this task, but tomorrow is as good as any other day to finish.

One thing that can help with my servitude is remembering that i only serve one Master. One of the problems i've had growing up is that i would always defer to everyone, even if i didn't necessarily respect them. Part of what i've discovered about my service to Master is that real pleasure only comes from serving someone whom i respect.

my goal in serving Master is to continue to improve myself, both as Master's pet and as a person in general. Serving Master has made me a stronger person in body, mind and soul, and it's something that i wish to continue to improve upon.

Through my service, i hope to learn to be who i truly wish to be. i've let so many other people define me that i lost who i really was. But now, it's almost like i have a clean slate to start over. So through my service, i hope that i develop into the woman i know i am inside.

A moment in my life that lead to my servitude was realizing that i was naturally a submissive person. i was once asked if i could ever switch or even be a Domme, but the thought makes me very uncomfortable. i'm not one to take charge, at least not in that capacity. It makes me uncomfortable and it doesn't feel right.

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