Saturday, July 25, 2009

He still has power over me

My father, i mean. And it pisses me off. i work very hard to try and make sure that fuck is out of my life. But there are some things that he's done in the past that continually creep up on me.

Like when i can't find something, for example. It not only drives me crazy, but i really start having a panic attack creep up on me. This is because, when i was younger and would leave my possessions around the house, my father would take them and hide them and i'd be lucky if i ever saw them again. It's not only lead me to be very possessive, but also paranoid about losing things. Of course, i haven't spoken to him in half a decade, so i don't know why he continues to bother me like he does.

So i've got to work on purging him and his influences from my life. Master tries all he can, but there are just some things that it seems like i have to completely do on my own.

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