Tuesday, August 11, 2009

First day back

Feeling good, really. Quite a bit exhausted still. Spent nearly the whole day just appreciating my family. Drew a bit with the imp. And i've come to the conclusion that, in times of trouble, i'm drawn to images of trees. i noticed that both in the hospital and today, trees played a prominent role in the pictures i sketched out. i even wrote a terrible haiku about trees.

And really, i'm not even sure why trees. i'm more of a fire-type than anything. But, to me, trees represent hope. They lose their leaves each year, only to grow back again. So even though i might have been down to my last in those moments before my mother called for the police and ambulance, there's still hope i will grow again.

It's strange, though. In some ways, leading up to last Friday, i was becoming more and more like myself, yet pulling further and further away as well. So now i feel i'm more whole than ever, though i have a lot of fear leading up to next month. Until i can get this problem under control, what will i end up doing to myself? i don't even want to think about it. Instead, i'll just concentrate on my moods and making sure that, when the shit hits the fan, i'll be able to handle it instead.

No comments: