Wednesday, August 12, 2009

i love you, lilikka

Today i had a wonderful dream. i don't really remember the details so much as i remember waking and realizing that the "friends" in my dream were really just different aspects of my personality. In the dream, they were telling me how much they loved me and wanted me to be happy. It was kind of nice to get an "i love you" from myself on a subconscious level.

i learned a lot about self-esteem over the weekend. i had thought that, in order to properly serve, one had to forsake self to serve. But this just isn't the case. If i don't put myself first, at least part of the time, i will have no energy to truly serve Master in the capacity at which he deserves. This is something he has been trying to get me to see for quite some time now, actually.

So now, i do try and do things for my own sake, and not just because i think it would be pleasing to Master. Because, above all things, i know that me being healthy is the most pleasing to him.

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