100th Post

i'm amazed i've made it this far. Especially because i was so scared that it all was going to end tonight.

Master gave me the option to ask to be relieved of being his pet. i... didn't know what to say. i mean, it was my fault that he gave me the option. i was not listening to him and was reverting back to my old ways. But the fact that he gave me that option scared me so much that i couldn't stop crying. Even after i told Master i don't know what i'd be without being his pet. Even after showing Master how fully committed to being his pet i am. Even when he called me beautiful, i cried.

The thought of being with Master but him not being Master... makes me sad. i don't know how else to put it. i can't describe it at all. i would still love him as Rei, but the whole relationship means so much more when he's Master. And he honestly is right when he said that the new me only wants to obey his commands. That is all i want for myself and i often need his guidance to bring that back to me.