i wish i could forever stay connected to my good feelings. Because once i lose them, it takes so much effort to gain them back. It's so ridiculous.

The day wasn't all terribly bad, but this evening has been hell. i'm so disconnected from my "self" that i don't know what i even feel.

i can't even really be a pet for Master tonight. He's more worried than angry, though i think he probably ought to be angry at me for getting like this.