i have an innate desire to please Master. If he's not pleased with my work, i end up feeling really upset with myself. It's not very often, if ever that i can think of, but i have a driving need to please Master to the best of my abilities.
On the same note, i desire to obey his orders to the best of my ability. Unfortunately, because of the situation with my mother and daughter, i can't always do that, so i feel more pain from that than anything else. i want to be his complete and utter pet and have him command me down to my every action. But having a young child in the house and a disabled mother that i must care for doesn't make it very easy.
Perhaps someday after my mother has passes and our daughter is grown, we can live the life together as Master and pet that we desire. But for now, we have to do it when and where we can.