Mostly because i think i just need the voice of someone experienced in submission to help me through some of the rough patches i've been going through lately. The only problem is finding someone that would be willing to help me with this as well as actually finding someone to even talk to.
i can keep my focus on serving Master if he reminds me, but it feels like such an embarrassment when he has to do that. It ought to be my job to keep my focus, not his. He says i'm still learning and that i now need to learn that it's ok to not be perfect, but it's hard to undo years and years of the opposite.
i just don't know. Things have been so rough for me lately, both emotionally and physically. My allergies have been really getting to me and this is just... a terrible month for me. i really hate April. i don't know what i'm going to do next week. i hope it doesn't hit me as hard as it did last year.