Wednesday, January 28, 2009


i've been feeling increasingly jealous today. Mostly i think it's because, outside of Master, i have no real friends that i physically hang out with. Even online, i'm becoming more and more isolated. i know this is not something Master wants for me, but i just don't know what else to do about it.

Next weekend, Master will be at a party with his friends and i'll be home alone again. i want him to be able to go and have a good time, but sometimes i just wish i could be the one invited to go out and do things, too.

As it is, i seem to have lost another friend today. i don't know why, either. i suppose it's because we haven't spoken in forever. And while that is a failing on my part, it's also a failing on the other party because they have also made no effort to speak to me lately.

i keep thinking that maybe it's because i have found a path for my life that truly fits me and makes me happy. That's the only explanation i can find that would help me understand why i'm losing friends at such an alarming rate. Why can't people just accept others for what they are and what they desire to be?

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