Saturday, January 17, 2009

The Real Lilikka

i don't often show her to anyone, even Master. Occasionally, she'll come out to play (as she did last night when Master returned from his night out), but it's pretty rare. i think mostly that i'm afraid of how she appears to others. Which is really quite silly, honestly. But there it is.

Master has been working with me to help me bring her out slowly. He wants to experience more of her, as i do. she's the real fun one, the one who takes risks and who isn't afraid to walk into a room and eye fuck every single person in there.

At the same time, i'm scared that other people will look at me and think that i'm a slut for letting myself out in that fashion. i worry because at times, i believe others already have a poor opinion of me and i certainly don't want to do anything else to prove them right. It's such a confusing issue for me.

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