Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Secret Relationship

sometimes i feel like being in a bdsm-style relationship is something that i can't share with the general public. after all, it's certainly far from the norm. most people don't have contracts set up and agree ahead of time what the limits are and who's "in charge" of the relationship. i think mostly, people don't understand how it can be a completely healthy experience living in a relationship like this, which causes them to fear it.

now, i'm open with my mother about what kind of relationship i have. but she often times buys into the social stigmas that persist towards this lifestyle. she knows i'm masochistic, but she thinks any kind of pain, regardless of who is administering it, is pleasurable to me. that's just not true; only pain administered in love and affection feels good. the rest is just pain the same way a "normal" person feels pain.

and if someone such as my mother can't even understand the basics of it all, how would people who don't know me as well handle it? not very well, i'd wager. i'm not so worried about strangers, as i'm open on this blog and use my real picture. no, i'm more worried about what those who have known me for a long time would think about all of this. the last time i told someone, they said i was setting myself up to be abused again. so i feel as if i have to keep the details of my relationship secret from friends, but public to strangers. that seems so backwards to me.

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