Calm

Sometimes, it's hard for me to remain calm. i'm a very up-tight person. This isn't something i'm proud of and i would certainly like to fix it, but it's such an integral part of how i function, i don't know how to change that. Master's presence is always calming, but it can be difficult to find ways to calm myself while he's resting.

i tried baking cookies today, since cooking and baking are calming things, but the cookie dough ended up too sticky and stuck to the rolling pin and, well, everything else. i had even floured everything well, but it still stuck. So i ended up throwing out the dough in frustration and just bought ready-made cookie dough. It wasn't quite the same, but at least it was less stressful.

Even things like reading have been stressful for me lately, mostly because i can never have time to just finish more than two sentences at a time. Just when i find out what's happening to my favorite fictional succubus, it seems to be inevitable that i have to stop what i'm doing to help Emi or mom.

So i'm trying to find other ways to stay calm. Playing sudoku. Doing picross. Anything to distract my mind. It seems to be working well with sudoku tonight, so i'm going to stick to that until Master returns.