Wednesday, February 18, 2009


Master encourages me to be independent in many ways. He likes it when i make up my own mind about what to do in my down time. He also encourages my desires and for me to vocalize those desires, even if i feel they might be stupid.

But really. i hate being independent. It goes hand-in-hand with making choices. i have a terrible time doing it and it puts me in such a terrible mental state that i just can't figure anything out. That's why this really seems disjointed right now. i feel as if it's all falling apart.

i know it's not good for me to be so dependent on everyone else, but i don't feel strong enough to stand on my own feet. i'm trying to learn, but it's difficult and just... i don't know.


Tiggs said...

Just relax a bit, sweetie. You're over-thinking this and putting too much pressure on yourself! Try to be less dependent first with the littlest things, and count each as a win in your favor. That will boost your confidence without making you feel out of your element, and before you know it, you'll be stepping out on your own in ways you never thought possible!

Hugs, big supportive ones,

Lilikka said...

Thank you. That really, really helps a lot.