Today felt like such a good step in the right direction for myself. Maybe not necessarily as a submissive, but definitely as the whole package that makes up "Lilikka." i had my first meeting out of many to come with a counselor that's going to help me work through my PTSD. Eventually, i will be going through group sessions as well, but it's all one-on-one for the time being.
But really, i know that this is going to help enhance all areas of my life, particularly with my life with Master. Though he tries as much as he can to help me with my PTSD, i think learning from those who have experienced similar issues as i have is going to be just as much of a help. Master is quite supportive in all of this and that helps everything all that much more.
And although being Master's pet is certainly an unusual approach to it, i do find it to be very healing. Because of the abuse i suffered, i'm really quite unsure of how to act on my own. Master helps by deciding some of the things i do for the day, but also encourages me to be independent (as i tried to touch on in that failed entry earlier). i honestly do prefer to have someone direct my actions, but also know it's important to have independence, even as Master's pet.
Mostly, i'm just looking forward to healing. Because of all my issues, i feel i'm not able to devote as much of myself to Master as i would like and, hopefully, that will all change as i go through this next step. It's not going to be easy, but i know with the support of Master and other loved ones, i will be fine.