Saturday, February 14, 2009

Morning Reflections

Master asked me to take a bath this morning and to reflect upon some things. Since he's not around at the moment to tell him what i've come up with regarding my reflections, i'm going to write it out here and hope that this is what he intended.

One of the things Master asked me to reflect upon was what i've learned up to this point. And it's been a lot, but there are some things that really stuck out when i thought about it. The biggest lesson i've learned is that i am Master's property and, as such, all thoughts of self-harm should never be acted out upon. i wouldn't be harming my self, but rather Master's property. And it's really worked when i have those kinds of thoughts.

Another thing i've learned is that, though i may not always understand it, every little task Master asks of me, no matter how silly it might seem to someone outside, have a reason behind them. i don't really know what they all could be, but i know that he's always got a reason for asking me or telling me to do something.

The other thing Master asked i reflect upon is what i'd like to learn for the future. i would like to learn to better manage my life as Master's pet with my life as a mother. i often times feel like i'm lost somewhere between them. i don't know if i can be both at the same time, but i would certainly love to learn how.

i would also like to learn that, just because i submit to Master, doesn't mean i must submit to everyone. Part of the problems with my personality is that i strive to constantly please everyone i feel is superior to me (which, quite honestly, is most people). i would like to learn how to have a bit more of a backbone and to not just bend over backwards for everyone, just Master. That's not to say i can't do things for Master, just that i ought to be a bit more in control, for lack of a better term, of my service.

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