Tuesday, February 10, 2009


i hate making choices. Maybe it's the fact that, once a choice has been made, the door closes on all the possibilities that will no longer happen because i didn't pick the other choice. i would hate to think that connection with people that i might have truly enjoyed would be severed because i made a choice years ago to wear blue socks on a day i was meant to wear pink.

Or maybe i'm just romanticizing the idea of it all. Maybe things just play out how they're supposed to, regardless of what i choose and i don't really have a choice at all. Either way, making choices is not one of my favorite things and i tend to put off making a choice until the last second. And then i usually end up regretting it, regardless of what i've chosen. It's very rare i'm happy with my choices.

i think that's why i chose to be Master's pet. Because he makes some choices for me (not all of them, for sure, but a good deal) and i don't have to stress over it anymore. But he does require that i make the important ones (and sometimes, the not-so-important ones) when i really need to. And i think that helps, because i know he'll back up my choice regardless of what i choose.

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