Monday, March 16, 2009

Getting comfortable in my own skin

i've been trying to, anyway. And not just in my skin, but in my mind and my views on myself and the world. i've come into the realization lately that i feel quite a bit different than other people i know. Maybe this is just a young adult version of the teenage "oh i'm so alone" kind of thing, but it doesn't feel the same kind of loneliness i felt as a teenager when i was going through that phase.

But i'm starting to be comfortable with who i am. As i mentioned previously, i often have succubus tendencies. So much so that, as i think about it, who's to say that i'm not unlike a succubus? i want to start living my life as if i were a bit more than human, because that's how i feel. Mostly, i'm afraid of how people will accept that part of me. i mean, it sounds crazy. But it feels right for me and, really, it wouldn't be hurting anyone for me to live how i feel.

i guess it's just the fear of rejection. i think i have a bigger fear than most, simply because i've got an irrational need to never fail and rejection feels like failure. But i also know that if i don't do this, i will never be happy. i have to do this for myself.

1 comment:

Tera S said...


Be true to yourself no matter what Honey...