Ego

i sometimes think i have a problem with my ego. Take, for instance, fellatio. i happen to think i'm pretty good at it. But i've also never been able to get a guy off from it alone. Master assures me that, yes, i am quite satisfying at it, but i don't know. Just the fact that i've never been able to bring him, or any one, to a climax by oral alone makes me a bit... discouraged at my skills.

i just don't know where i stand with my ego, honestly. i hate to have it bruised by others, but when Master does things that are humiliating to me, i love it. It's the strangest thing to be turned on by degridation. Sometimes i wish, while we were out in public, he'd call me his little slut, just so i could blush and squirm at his words. But i know that if it were someone else calling me that, i'd be angry.

So, yeah. My ego is a strange beast.