Also, 69 entries. Yes, i have the mentality of a 12-year-old.
But seriously, after a week of no orgasms, i finally got some relief. My guess is either i had a mental block or the side effects of the medication "ran out" (my guess is more towards the former). It was really quite wonderful, as there was absolutely no pressure from Master. It was nice feeling the familiar wash of feelings come over me. Because, honestly, i am a sexual being. There's no denying it.
And as my three-day-weekend comes to a close, i'm going to try and remember the sensations of today as i go through my appointments of the week. It's not always going to be easy, but now that i've managed to reconnect with myself, i think it'll be a bit easier, as long as i can maintain that connection. And now that Master and i have talked about what i had written last night, he's aware of a lot more of my PTSD triggers and signs of me withdrawing. i know it means more work for him, and for that i'm really sorry. But the good part is that, through all this therapy, i'm also learning how to cope with it so i'll be a more stable person for him in the end.