Thursday, March 12, 2009

Like-minded People

i am terrible at meeting new people. When people come into my life, i'm often too socially inept to know what to do to keep them in my life. This goes for friends and casual acquaintances as well as more important people. Master is a big exception. i don't know why it works with him, but it does.

But i've been dying to meet like-minded individuals. It's just so difficult for me because i have no idea HOW to meet people and keep them near me. i think a lot of it has to do with me being boring and insecure. i'm so nervous that everyone is going to find out that i'm a boring person that i end up actually being a boring person anyway.

Maybe it's just that i need to develop interesting interests. Most of the things i like end up being pretty esoteric that it's difficult to find someone else who shares them.


Sub Sweet said...

I know what you mean. Online I'm socially adept, have no trouble communicating, but in a social setting I'm a wall flower and gratefully take the back seat.

Try doing an online search for BDSM clubs in your area. Get to know people online and find out when there's a munch or where there might be one close to you.

Fet might be a good place to start.

May said...

I personally think that you may have asperger's syndrome. My boyfriend and I both have it and it causes the same types of problems with meeting new people, relating to them, etc. You might look it up - I recently read an article online about undiagnosed asperger's in women and how it affects them and that's when I got interetested in the whole thing. I researched more and it turns out I'm totally aspergered out, which explained a lot and made me generally less nervous about dealing with people. I guess because I know my limitations better now?

Anyway, my suspicion is that many people into BDSM are also people who have similar things where they can have problems relating to people, so the clear lines of dominance and submission are things we're attracted to.

Lilikka said...

May: i believe with myself, it's more of a case of social anxiety vs. Asperger's Syndrome. Other than the social aspects, i don't really show any other signs of AS, though i know it runs in my family because my cousin has it. But because of my repeated trauma growing up that resulted in PTSD, i've developed an unusual amount of anxiety, which manifests itself in various ways, including anxiety of social situations. So while i crave interaction with others, i'm deathly afraid of it.

Sub Sweet: i am on Fet already (i'm Lilikka over there as well), but i just get really nervous about posting and meeting people, even though that's what i'd love. i'm afraid of being rejected for my thoughts :/