Master and i have been discussing many things lately, including our views on the world and spirituality. i had never really thought of myself as a spiritual person. i'm agnostic, since i don't see that there's really proof for or against a higher power. i'd like to believe there's something, but i find that i just can't.
But when it comes to matters of sex and sexuality, that's where my spirituality really comes into play. Maybe it's a bit silly, but i see sexual acts as a kind of spiritual act. When two people can just enjoy each other in all aspects, it's the most beautiful thing ever. It's why i enjoy watching porn so much. i mean, sure, the people in the film are just actors/actresses who are being paid to perform in front of the camera. But the act itself is what's very beautiful to me, not necessarily who's performing it. It's like watching an intricate dance.
my submission also plays a part in my spirituality. i have chosen to submit to Master because i feel he is my missing half. Though we are similar, we also have so many things that are so different. His Dominance melds perfectly with my submission. So when the two of us are together, even if we're not having sex, everything we do is sexual to me. The way we look at each other. The words we say. Even an innocent touch becomes something magical.
It's so difficult to explain it in a way that doesn't sound ridiculous. Which is nice that Master never laughed as i explained all this to him.